Ricky Tomlinson

as Bert Wildgoose

as Self

as Paedo Pete

as Moobin

as Self - Actor

as John's Grandad

as Warren

as Self

as Mayor

Acting

Acting

as Mike Bassett

as Frank Conlon

as Charlie

as Eddie McMullen

as Billy

as Leopold Durant

as Mike Bassett

as Santa Claus (voice)

Acting

as Jim Royle

as Ezra

as Fibbin' Gibbins

as Buddy

as Gordon

as John Glover

as Robert

as Cinders

as Wise

as Tommy

as Larry

as Doctor